I Don't Wanna be a Goat

In elementary school I learned a song called "I Just Wanna be a Sheep." If you haven't heard it, goes something along the lines of how I just want to be a sheep, babababa, and how you don't want to be things like a pharisee or a goat. I really love the song and will honestly sing it at any chance I get. So I pretty much jumped at the chance to sing with the kids here in Wales. It's become a requested song at club, so much so I've definitely gone to bed singing it some nights.

However, today I realized I am more of the goat and the pharisee than I often believe I am. Yesterday, I went to Cardiff with Rachel and some of the youth. We decided to eat lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe just for fun, but we arrived there a few minutes before they began serving. We were looking in the little shop, but I stepped outside because when I say little I mean it was little. This man walked up to me and asked for some money to go to a hostel to be able to get a shower and a bed to sleep in. He didn't ask for much, and I wish I could say I gave him the money. But I didn't. I had what he asked for and more. I was in a kind of a bad mood for really no reason and pretty much told the man I couldn't be bothered. I wish I could get the look in his eyes as he walked away from me.

It felt like he was saying with his eyes, "You're just like the rest of them."

Please don't try to console me with, "Well, he probably was just going to use the money for beer or drugs;" because I don't know if that's what he really wanted the money for. Besides who am I to judge this mans intentions? Someone who has been given far more than she needs or deserves, but chooses to hord it like she can take it with her when she goes.

This man might have been Jesus and I turned Him away. I realized I am one of the goats from Matthew 25 when Jesus tells them to depart from Him because "whatever [we] did not do for the least of them, [we] did not do for [Him]."

The verse in the song goes, "I don't wanna be a goat/Nope, Nope, Nope, Nope/Because they ain't got no hope/I don't wanna be a goat." And I realize today I don't want to be goat. I want to be a sheep. I want to be on Jesus' right side on judgement day when He says, "'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'"

I wish I could go to Cardiff and search the streets for this man and give him the money and more. But I can't. However,I pray this will change me forever and that I never again deny someone like this man something, especially kindness. I pray God will change me and give me His ability to love.

I am the wretch whom the song is singing about, but amazing grace has set me free.